why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
Randomize
