What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
Randomize
