That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
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