I wanna passion pit in your ass
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
Randomize
