It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
i came on her dog
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
Randomize
