I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
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