Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
I'm determined to sit on that face.
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
Randomize
