dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
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