white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
Randomize
