i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
She's not a foreskin expert like you
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
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