oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
Sex has been so nonexistent lately that when I was masturbating the other day, I actually paused to yawn.
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
He sent me a snapchat of himself growing a double chin. I think we're past the stage where there's any risk of us sleeping together. Ever.
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
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