Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
Randomize
