We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
i woke up with a shirt on. the kids in my daycare group had a lot of questions when i took off my shirt at the pool to reveal "property of brittany" written on my chest and an arrow pointing to my dick.
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
When people ask about my bruises, I'm just going to say it was a doorknob. Or possibly a group of doorknobs. Angry doorknobs.
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
Randomize
