I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
this must be what syphilis tastes like
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
I am mentally ready for anal.
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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