Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
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