at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
Oh, btw, UPS might come by. Drunk me ordered us $75 worth of gummy airhead starburst type candies. Whatever it is, it'll be delicious.
Randomize
