Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
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