i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
Randomize
