in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
Is it weird that I only look up my ex on Twitter when I take a shit? May have conditioned myself to associate him with shit
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
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