I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
She told me she brought a guy home but that he looked pickled. And no, that's not an autocorrect.
Hahahah pickled
I asked her what she meant and she said that he looked like he had soaked in water.
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
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