Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
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