Omg I just drooled on the screen of my phone from smiling with my mouth open while textin bahahahaahah
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
two words...techno handjob
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
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