Whoa Z and x make the same sound
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
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