Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
Randomize
