I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
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