i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
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