was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
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