There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
Randomize
