What tipped you off? The sombrero?
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
I'm sad that I feel like I need to temporarily change your name in my phone from Smashley until you have the baby and can be unsober with us again.
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
Randomize
