well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
I swear to God if you start calling your dick “my pegasus” we’re not friends anymore
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
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