Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
After this weekend, all I can think about is bald eagles flying in front of fireworks and giving birth to fucking uncle sam. Also, beer.
Randomize
