you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
Randomize
