I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
The dog destroyed my vibrator and swallowed several pieces. Vet gave us a laxative so now I’m checking lots of dog shit and having no orgasms. Plus the cute vet knows I don’t get enough dick, so that’s just great
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