I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
Randomize
