So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
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