Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
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