no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
I left the office with a vacuum, 2 condoms and 300 dollars cash money. Tell me I don't have the most versatile job on the planet.
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
Randomize