sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
Randomize