I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
That's when you crack a 10am beer
I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
you traded sex for a burrito?
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
Randomize
