Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
Threesome in a minivan. New low
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Randomize
