You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Randomize
