my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
Official reason: I couldn't get time off. The real reason: last Xmas nearly ended in alcohol poisoning to prevent me from screaming like a velociraptor
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
Randomize
