I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
Randomize
