hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
Randomize
