I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
Randomize
