DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
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