Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
i think i just naturally attract stoners
Randomize
