so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
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