just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
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