dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
Randomize
