We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
My mom just came into the kitchen and watched me take a double shot of whiskey and chase it with a beer and said "you are my son." Proudest family moment ever
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
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