I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
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