I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
Randomize
