everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
They took my balls.
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
