he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
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