dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
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