I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
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