yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
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