she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
That moment half way through a run when you realize you have to take a giant shit. I was racing against my bowels that last mile. Now my sweat is suctioning my ass to this toilet seat. Enjoy that NSA.
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
Randomize
