I need a sticker that says "It's no use hitting on me - I'm the plus one" Seriously, how do they think I got in in the 1st place?
good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
i think i have herpe
just one?
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
Randomize
