Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
The adults are the big ones right?
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
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