He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
Couch. On fire.
Randomize
