I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
Randomize