Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
Randomize
