dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
Just high enough for therapy.
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
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